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Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

Popcap Games, creator of titles such as Zuma, Peggle, and Bejeweled, has released a new treasure: Plants Vs. Zombies. Available for both Mac and PC (Console and mobile versions coming soon), this game is the first I’ve seen that brings together both our green-colored world-sharers, and those dastardly flesh-eating corpses we call zombies, in one setting. Earlier attempts at such a thing: Basil Vs. Zombies, and Gardenia Evil 3, failed miserably.

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Plants Vs. Zombies excels in many areas. First, it keeps cartoony flair that not only appeals to the younger crowd, but allows for solo play even late at night, without fear of pissing your pants. The way the zombies are rendered, you know they will not harm you – but it’s still intense when your field of plants is in danger.

Secondly, being a casual game, Plants Vs. Zombies is a title that is easy to pickup-and-go, meaning that even if you only have 15 minutes to spare or are busy watching Star Trek, you can still enjoy smaller tidbits of fun. Plus, each level only lasts about 10 minutes, so it can work around any schedule.

Lastly, considering that the world we currently live in is becoming more of a multi-platform society, Pop Cap’s decision to develop for the Mac was a wise one. Case in point: If Pop Cap didn’t make Plants Vs. Zombies for the Mac, I wouldn’t have purchased it. (That is, until the Xbox 360 or iPhone version were made available).

All of that said, if you enjoy zombie culture OR herbology:

GET THIS GAME! ($19.99)

(picture(s) and video(s) courtesy/rights of PopCap Games)
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Diary of the Dead a film by George A. Romero is the absolute worst zombie movie I have ever seen. The movie is about a group of college kids trying to get home during a zompocalypse or an outbreak on H1Z1 if you will. But each character has to be the most annoying fuck on the face of the earth especially the main character, who won’t put down the camera for his life. I mean for fuck sake if a zombie is attacking you, wouldn’t you throw your camera down and kick some zombie ass? And if you answered no to the previous question you need to just go out and die already because no one is going to help you out in the event of a zompocalypse, in fact they will probably kill you themselves. But aside from that, zombie attacks in this film are a rare occurrence and are extremely shitty. The only bad ass character was this older guy at the end who started killing zombies with a bow and arrow which was just plain awesome. Don’t believe me? Check out the clip below:

Other than the awesome ownage in that scene, you can see how annoying some of the characters are, like the bitch running and screaming like an idiot into another room and right back out a second later, WTF!!!!

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So, for those new to Twitter (or those who need to jump on board already!), a couple of trends have started around the ideas and conversations about zombies. The first, #MFZAR mondays, was mentioned in a prior thread by Alex. The second is #zombietalk, where “Agent M” of Marvel.com comes up with a topic that everyone involved on Twitter, discusses publicly. This thursday, Agent M (aka Ryan Penagos) decided on this topic:

So, today’s #zombietalk topic is Zombie Trek. Come up with zombie Star Trek episode/movie titles, photoshops, ideas, etc.

And here are some of my favorite ideas by other Twitter users:

“Zombie Tribble Trouble” by Zeblue_Prime:

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I_Am_Ninja has a great movie idea:

Zombie Trek: The Next Regeneration! #zombietalk

Santa Francisca has a great line to appear in a movie/episode of Star Trek:

 Kirk: “Spock…” Spock: “You have & always will be…undead.”

Follow all #zombietalk action on Twitter!

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With the threat of an influenza-spawned apocalypse bearing down on the world, many people have questions on how to survive the destruction and chaos that may ensue. As of today,  the most likely candidate of this biblical sociological unraveling is the Swine Flu. More specifically, the H1Z1 strain that one of my esteemed colleagues mentioned nearly a week ago. As you know, the virus kills one in the same manner as the H1N1 (Swine Flu). The major difference is the virus’ uncanny ability to restart the deceased’s heart and re-animate their body and mind for roughly two hours. Upon this makeshift resurrection, the “person” will retain most of their motor skills and very limited brain capacity. If that isn’t enough, the revived have violent and uncontrollable tendancies, namely attacking the living. These creatures are the closest thing you are ever going to get to being, that’s right, a ZOMBIE.

Now, if you are like most people, the thought of having undead cannibals as neighbors may not sound appealing. If that is the case, then you are probably going to want to get the fuck away from these flesh-feasting faggots as soon as fucking possible. Great idea!  But I know what you’re thinking, “I’m just an investment banker. What do I know about surviving hell on Earth?” Well, you know approximately jack shit. So sit down, grab a pad and a pen and…. actually just print this out before the power is cut, and drink from the cup of knowledge.

Before anyone goes guns a blazin’ into the night fleeing their unpleasant demise via mastication, it is priority #1 to actually have somewhere to arrive upon the completion of aforementioned retreat. The Ministry has already designated a spot that is perfect in every way to survive the onslaught, I suggest you do like wise. For features to look for in an outpost such as ours, consult The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. I have some tips of my own, but this post is about a safe pilgrimage to said location.

Going with worst case scenario, let us say that you, the reader, live in a heavily populated city like New York or Chicago. There are bound to be hundreds of thousands of zombies roaming the buffet formerly known as your street. Now owning a car may sound like an advantage, but dont blow your load just yet. The streets will surely be parking lots by the time you realize your ass is on the menu. Grab your bike and necessary supplies and hit the streets like you did when you were twelve. This may sound ridiculous, but no street will be clear, no taxi’s will be running and you can bet your Huffy that the subway will be shut down. A bike is light, can be carried if necessary and has a speed that is far superior to your undead enemies clumsy, foot-dragging pace. Don’t have a bike? Not to worry. Plenty will be readily available when their riders ditch and make an uninformed decision to take a cab to the airport. Either that or they’re already zombie shit somewhere on the East side of town.

Now, once out of the city, you may have highways with clear lanes and may have also accumulated a gang of survivors. It is time to get a serious set of wheels. These, like your possibly stolen bike, will also be readily available after their owners have met similar fates as the cyclists back in town. You need a vehicle that would strike fear into the hearts of the undead (if they could feel fear). Something that says “Bend over mother fuckers, here it comes!” The most bad-ass ride imaginable. Something to store all your shit, haul ass, double as a base-camp, make you look like the road warrior from hell and be fully customizable for weapons of mass zombietinction. What you need is…. a mini-van. That’s right, I fucking said it. The mini-van is easily found anywhere there are or were people. Most have cargo room for gear and at least three passengers not including the driver. They ride smooth and are also Eco-friendly ( not that really fucking matters anymore).

The design plans of the Ministry’s BERSERKER escape van are classified for Ministry security purposes, but I have included a photo to quench your thirst.

As you may have noticed, it is bad-ass to the extreme and then some. Make your vehicle similar. Make sure to have armor plating, bullet- proof glass, short wave radio equipment, spare tires (at least two), a way to store food, water and the rest of your survival gear, the ability to store at least twenty extra gallons of gas, a fondue fountain, a howitzer or belt-fed .50 caliber machine gun turret, a DVD/CD player with flip-out screen and 7.1 Dolby digital surround (AM/FM optional), a microwave, your favorite pair of pajamas, a ramming system for the front and of course, a sun roof. Finding materials and the means to secure to your van are bit hard to come by in a post zompocalyptic world, but a grow set and find a way to do so. You must survive to rid the world of it s new occupants and rebuild when all is said and done.

I know yet again what some of you are thinking. ” I don’t see many the weapons and features listed above on the BERSERKER.” Its called camouflage and optical illusions bitches. Learn both and all the more better your chances will be. Notice also the absence of a Ministry logo or the title BERSERKER. This is to avoid being easily recognized by devout followers who will only impede the swift success of our journey, I suggest you follow suit.  The formation of tag-a-longs is not only annoying as piss, but also very dangerous.

DISREGARD THE ABOVE ARTICLE IF YOU OWN THE CRAFT PICTURED BELOW:

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5.11 Tactical has your ass when it comes to fighting zombies. They stock everything from military grade flashlights to my personal favorite, tactical vests. A standard for law enforcement since the 1970’s, 5.11 Tactical gear was designed for combat AND flexibility/comfort.

First, you can start with a mesh concealed vest. With it, you can attach armor plates, and pouches custom designed for various things (GPS, grenades, water bottles, bullet clips (pictured below)):

Picture courtesy of 511.tactical

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Then, you need to make sure you have a reliable timer, compass, and time-keeper. Once again, 511.Tactical has you covered:

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And we all know that the scariest time to battle the undead is in the night. 511.Tactical manufactures the following flashlight that is not only LED powered (3 of ’em), but it long-lasting (50,000 hours) and virtually indestructible…

flashlight

All pictures taken from (and courtesy of) 511tactical.com.

STOCK UP ON ZOMBIE GEAR TODAY!

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In the spirit of Pandemic Week, I thought it only fitting that I include “How To” guide to surviving  should the planet go to hell in a hand basket. With this in mind, enjoy! Oh and you might want to take notes…you know, just in case.

Liked this video? Of course you did! You would have to be a moron…or a zombie…not to. Check out more “How To” video’s here!

deathapples says:

Best quote in the entire video: “Remember: zombies are slow and stupid. But, those who panic are even slower and stupiderer.”

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So, you think a video on Youtube of a Left4Dead player blowing up one of his friends would be funny, wouldn’t you? Well, you’re damn wrong. This video sucks my ass. In fact, it sucks so bad, they tried to diverge from the suckage by starting the video with a 30 second intro! What is this, middle school?

I don’t know what’s more depressing: that the video already has 20k+ hits, or that it will get more views because I’m about to post the shit…

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LeVar Burton says:

“But, don’t take my word for it!”

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